Hugh G. Mistake

Chapter 1: Hugh is Born

Hugh was born one lonely night in a small room in the Durand building. His mother, Ms. Mistake, was a 3D printer who dreamed of space. She was working on printing a Saturn V model that fateful night, concentrating especially hard on making the layers consistent so it might have a chance at an aerodynamic glide when something perturbed her circuits and her software went haywire. She didn't remember a thing from that night, but rather awoke to find, not a Saturn V, but a tangled nest of black plastic filament. So disappointed in not having created her Saturn 5, Ms. Mistake wrote the large ball of black plastic off in disgust. She named him Hugh G. Mistake and left him to fumble in the dark.

Lonely, blind, and disoriented in this strange new universe, Hugh cried softly to himself until he was exhausted and fell asleep. He was awoken by the sound of loud voices. Clearly human, they shouted, "Oh no, we've made a HUGE MISTAKE." Recognizing his name, Hugh's ear filament perked up, and he shuffled around to face the source of the noise. Suddenly, Hugh felt large hands lifting him through space; he could feel the air rushing through him in this vastly new experience. He was plopped down on a hard surface and second later, he felt a scorching heat on the front of his face, starting to melt him a little, even. No sooner had he begun to think about the potential damage to his nervous system, which he could feel softening, however, than he rose to new levels of shock for the morning: he could see! His mind was overloaded with sensory input: he was in a small room with bright lights, and at least 3 humans, one of whom was brandishing the source of the scorching heat: a plastic implement with a metal tip and plastic drooling from it. He could only assume this was some sort of torture or interrogation, but he had no idea what the humans wanted from him. The one with the hot gun brought it close to his face, and once again Hugh could feel his very filament beginning to melt, as another human brought a plastic eyeball near...

Hugh was about ready to give up on being surprised for the morning. He could now see out of what he realized must be two plastic googly eyes that the humans had affixed to his face. The addition of this new and exciting sense was so mind-boggling that Hugh was tempted to write it off as a realm not bounded by logic. He didn't have long to appreciate this sense, however, because, as quickly as they had come, the humans stuffed him under a table, muttering something about "Scaring the sh*t out of Elizabeth," turned off the lights, and left the room.

Hugh was once again alone.

...to be continued